Thursday, 12 June 2014

Yet Another Return

Hello chaps and chappettes,  Sir Fluffingtons here, ready to once again present to you, ladies and gentlemen, the return of the rather spiffing and ,I dare say, marvelous blog...THE FLUFFINGTON POST! I do say my wonderful reader, it has been quite some time since the last post and I must profess I am dearly sorry for that. However thing do come up and cause bloody chaos, I say, especially extended field studies on the habits of gnomes and their relatives, the dwarfs. About that, I believe that shall be today's topic of interest, yes indeed! Let us begin at, well, the beginning of course, only a little time after I solved the Mystery of Mushtopia, where our nemesis, Sporington Negashroom, tried to turn all the mushroom into EXPLOSIVE mushrooms, very evil indeed. I returned to my castle, hoping to relax, and, I dare say, recharge my batteries as it were to said, when I got a completely unexpected call from my top researcher in the field of ancient gnome civilization, Moss von Pilz, telling me that they had just discovered the tomb of the bloody magnificent gnome king, whose name still remains a mystery. They wanted me, the one and only Sir Fluffingtons, King of the Mushrooms, to take a look at it and make sure it isn't trapped or something of that nature. So I picked up my top hat, put it on my head, and headed to the magical desert named The Viper, which is a very stupid name for a desert in my opinion, for the reason that it sounds very odd, even for Weirdville, maybe because it is actually the name a animal in reality, anywho, forgive me for my tangent. I arrived to see a group of Mushroom people, including Dr. Von Pilz, waiting to escort me to the recently open chamber of a partly submerged castle. For your own information, my rather spiffing viewers, the desert I was in was once a beautifully lush field with trees and, most disgustingly, rainbows and sparkles. However, it was inhabited by gnomes and they love those things, so I must deal with the truth of the past. Anyways, the chamber wasn't very large, and me and my marvelous self, being quite tall indeed, had a hard time getting into it. I believe it was made for gnomes, which if you have no ideas in this entire bloody world how small they are, they are drop-kick size, about three-fourths the size of a hobbit, which is half the size of a regular human being. Stepped into the room and, while crouching, surveyed it. It seemed odd, the room was completely empty, except for sand and dust. Unaware of the things the come, I moved into the room further when I heard the sound of sliding stone. The room began to darken and, when looking behind myself I saw, laughing at his victory, Dr. Von Pilz, closing the room. I was tricked by my own scientist, I was astonished and confused why he would do such a thing. And so, having no way to get out, I waited, for days, until I could think of something....WELL it looks like that is all the time we have today, but tune in next time for the second part of THE TALES OF SIR FLUFFINGTONS! Where we discover a way to escape, and find something odd under the gnome castle...until next time on THE FLUFFINGTON POST!

Friday, 31 January 2014

The Finale of the Jimmy Epidemic!

Hello there chaps, Sir Benji Fluffingtons here reporting from Mushtopia, and welcome back to THE FLUFFINGTON POST! No time to spare, ol' chaps, for a wonderful adventure is coming to end, for we have reached its pinnacle point and it is downhill from here! Ah-ha! Indeed we must get going...So where we left our predicament, we had finished interviewing Jimmy the Jumping Mushroom of the Bouncing Cliffs and MY WORD the information we got was bally frightening! It seems that Sporington Negashroom, the maleficent warlock of the Mushroom Forest,  had gotten hold of a special metal that is used to make fungicide missiles, the bloody man was insane! I do say if he had managed to launch those, we would all be dead, Mushrooms, Mushroom-People, you, and even me! Wait? You're not a Mushroom?...Oh never mind, on with the story! Of course you notice I said "if he had managed", which means there is much more to be talked about, so tally ho. I was concerned deeply for the safety and well-being, so much so that I rushed off, Magical Mushroom Staff in hand, ready to blow Negashroom hideous face right off his body. 

Sometime later, I arrived at the entrance to the Mushroom Forest, much like a regular forest, except it has giant mushrooms instead trees and, if you go deep enough, a glowing mist of ghostly spores. I ran in bearing no fear, only anger and a will to protect all I love and know. The wind whipped past my my ears, whistling one constant note, ominous and monotone, and I made my way to the center and the evilest part of forest where the warlock resides. Here is built a tower, one single tower of black stone, topped by a point of wood. It rose to the sky and ripped apart the clouds of darkness which it seeped, and brought despair, a feeling of pure hopelessness, back into my heart , something I hadn't felt in years since I had come to the land of Weirdville. Laughter echoed from tower's top and a voice, deep and flowing, practiced and refined, emanated from it. It began to speak poison and lies,
"So you have come, Fluffingtons, and what may be the occasion?", In full rage I replied quickly,
"You know in full detail why I make this appearance, for you are the perpetrator, or are you too prideful to admit it?", I continued to talk to him, although he was knowledgeable enough to know where I was going with my speech, for he is learned in such matters, "You are planning something of great mischief and evil, Sporington, and I have come to put end to it before you can begin!", At the base of the tower there is a door, large in size and made of wood and stained gold, and leading up to it is a wide flight of stairs made of the same stone as the tower. The door creaked open and tall, old, white bearded, pale, toned face man walked out, his body upright, and his eyes beaming with confidence. He spoke again, this time his voice boomed deeper and resonated through the forest,
"You have come to stop me?", He said as though he didn't know, "So be it, come at me with all your might, and I will still strike you down and you will be begging for mercy.", In his hand appeared a steel rod tipped with a white, skull-shaped gem, this was his staff and it frightened even the bravest of warriors and heroes. He pointed it towards me and from it shot a bolt of lightning, causing me to have to jump quickly out of the way. He chuckled at this and repeated the same action, this time, however, I felt it was my duty to wipe the smile from his face. I once again dodged his attack, however this time I shot a bolt back at him, hitting him in the chest and burning a hole into his grey cloak. He look astonished and became enraged, striking back in retaliation. For three hours we shot bolts at each other, until finally I realized the obvious, I could just turn him into a mushroom. I had become so riled up and serious, I wasn't thinking as a weird person would. The next time I got an opportunity, I yelled the top of my lung,
"WABBAKAZOOIE", Sporington gave me a strange look and then he was consumed by a cloud of sparkling white smoke, I say it was hilarious to see the bloody fool as a mushroom. The next day we found the metal we had been searching for in the basement of the tower and returned it to the bank. Everything settled down and returned to normal as it was before. That is it, ol' chaps and chappettes, the story you had all been waiting to hear....and now I am tired from writing see you next time for THE FLUFFINGTON POST! AH-HA!

Saturday, 25 January 2014

The Story Continued....Hopefully

Hello there chaps, Sir Benji Fluffingtons here reporting from Mushtopia, and welcome back to THE FLUFFINGTON POST! A rather spiffing story we must continue today and with haste, hopefully, probably not, but we can indeed hope. Now, when we left the political events of Mushtopia, we had found Jimmy in the house of a gnome, just outside of the city's borders! Unfortunately for both us and Jimmy, the money and gold were not present, seems they left with other hands, or were hidden very well. The first thing we did was hire a dwarf from the mountains to search the house for gold, for if you were not aware, they have a natural sense of finding precious metals. The gnome's house was gold-free by the standards of a dwarf, even though I was quite sure that there was at least a gold watch on the night stand.

We proceeded to interrogate the ol' chap about where the money may have gone, which he replied with a blank stare. This particular blank stare was on his face ever since he woke up, along with his lack of speech, either by choice or by, and I dare say I hoped not, some evil incantation. We asked a few more questions related to the matter, but again nothing. As we stepped out the door, he came back to reality for a second, a mere second, only to say the words I dreaded 
"I made a deal with NegaShroom for the safety of Mushtopia and my family...." After the last word left the tip of his tongue, he passed out, only to wake up seconds later with no recollection on what he had done. I say, ol' chaps, I was quite frightened, yes, me, SIR FLUFFINGTONS OF FLUFFINGTON PALACE, KING OF THE MUSHROOMS HIMSELF, for I knew that NegaShroom now held the power to destroy us all. For once in the history of Mushtopia, no, THE HISTORY OF WEIRDVILLE, a serious threat was proposed to us by a villain of incredible power. Why, you may ask, was I afraid? In Mushtopia, our currency is made of a very hard and, I say, not easily melted metal, which funnily enough, is also used in large fungicide missile. My word, it was dreadful indeed, if NegaShroom could construct one of these missiles, he could threaten my rule and the safety of Mushtopia... WELL it looks like time is up, tune in next time for THE FLUFFINGTON POST! AH-HA!
Next time on The Fluffington Post: We track down NegaShroom and try to put a stop to his nefarious schemes....

Friday, 24 January 2014

I'M BACK! And better than ever! I say!

Hello there chaps and chapettes, Sir Fluffingtons here! Welcome back to the FLUFFINGTON POST, the blog of MUSHTOPIA! I SAY! Anywho, I would like the deeply apologize for my prolonged absences, it would seem Mushtopia's political issues got a little out of hand, but not to worry, they have been fixed, with no mushrooms dead surprisingly!

What is that I hear? A cry for news? A curiosity for past events? Or just plain curiosity for the going-ons of Mushtopia? Well, a rather spiffing post I have for you , ol' chaps and chappettes. Where to start? Oh yes, do you see this picture, this is none other than the criminal Jolly Jimmy, the Jumping Joker of the Bouncing Cliffs, home to all Jumping Mushrooms. It seems that he managed to get into the bloody bank, I say! Although quite the crime, that bank is guarded by none other than the incredible and invincible Super Mushroom! The caped fungus fool never saw it coming though, knockout spores right to the face, a deadly invention of the notorious Mushroom Magician, Sporington NegaShroom. He stole several thousand pounds of fungi coin and twelve bars of gold, quite the haul if I do say so myself, not that I have ever robbed a bank and am slightly jealous of him....YOU HEARD NOTHING! Anyways, after several days of searching, we finally found the mushy man, sleeping in the house of a gnome just outside of Mushtopia, with no money or gold to be found! It seemed that it was stolen from him, or he made a deal with someone in return for the safety of his family....Oh look at the time, looks like we are done with this post, however not to worry, the story will continue. Next time on the FLUFFINGTON POST: We interview Jimmy and find out what happened to all that he had!