Thursday, 12 June 2014
Hello chaps and chappettes, Sir Fluffingtons here, ready to once again present to you, ladies and gentlemen, the return of the rather spiffing and ,I dare say, marvelous blog...THE FLUFFINGTON POST! I do say my wonderful reader, it has been quite some time since the last post and I must profess I am dearly sorry for that. However thing do come up and cause bloody chaos, I say, especially extended field studies on the habits of gnomes and their relatives, the dwarfs. About that, I believe that shall be today's topic of interest, yes indeed! Let us begin at, well, the beginning of course, only a little time after I solved the Mystery of Mushtopia, where our nemesis, Sporington Negashroom, tried to turn all the mushroom into EXPLOSIVE mushrooms, very evil indeed. I returned to my castle, hoping to relax, and, I dare say, recharge my batteries as it were to said, when I got a completely unexpected call from my top researcher in the field of ancient gnome civilization, Moss von Pilz, telling me that they had just discovered the tomb of the bloody magnificent gnome king, whose name still remains a mystery. They wanted me, the one and only Sir Fluffingtons, King of the Mushrooms, to take a look at it and make sure it isn't trapped or something of that nature. So I picked up my top hat, put it on my head, and headed to the magical desert named The Viper, which is a very stupid name for a desert in my opinion, for the reason that it sounds very odd, even for Weirdville, maybe because it is actually the name a animal in reality, anywho, forgive me for my tangent. I arrived to see a group of Mushroom people, including Dr. Von Pilz, waiting to escort me to the recently open chamber of a partly submerged castle. For your own information, my rather spiffing viewers, the desert I was in was once a beautifully lush field with trees and, most disgustingly, rainbows and sparkles. However, it was inhabited by gnomes and they love those things, so I must deal with the truth of the past. Anyways, the chamber wasn't very large, and me and my marvelous self, being quite tall indeed, had a hard time getting into it. I believe it was made for gnomes, which if you have no ideas in this entire bloody world how small they are, they are drop-kick size, about three-fourths the size of a hobbit, which is half the size of a regular human being. Stepped into the room and, while crouching, surveyed it. It seemed odd, the room was completely empty, except for sand and dust. Unaware of the things the come, I moved into the room further when I heard the sound of sliding stone. The room began to darken and, when looking behind myself I saw, laughing at his victory, Dr. Von Pilz, closing the room. I was tricked by my own scientist, I was astonished and confused why he would do such a thing. And so, having no way to get out, I waited, for days, until I could think of something....WELL it looks like that is all the time we have today, but tune in next time for the second part of THE TALES OF SIR FLUFFINGTONS! Where we discover a way to escape, and find something odd under the gnome castle...until next time on THE FLUFFINGTON POST!